Archive for August, 2009

Facebook Usage Breakdown

August 30, 2009 in satire | Comments (0)

  

21%

People displaying pictures of fun things you aren’t doing, making you

feel jealous and boring

19%

People displaying pictures to make themselves seem fun, hoping to

make you feel jealous and boring

15%

Notifications that people you barely know have RSVPed to an event

you aren’t invited to

12%

“What flavor Popsicle are you?” quizzes, with a generic answer

and an asinine follow-up quiztaker comment, like “Cherry…I knew it”

10%

Public complaining about constant redesigns meant to compete with

Twitter or whatever new technology is threatening to render it obsolete

9%

Narcissistic, real-time narration of the daily minutiae of a casual

friend-of-friend you met once (“Megan is making brownies…yum”)

8%

Taking time out of your life to actually join the group “I like to get the mail”

or become a fan of “Pizza”

6%

Baby pictures, baby pictures and more goddamn baby pictures